Real talk: You may think telling your husband he looks cute attempting to fix the lawn mower is music to his ears, but he may be hearing a different tune. In honor of Compliment Day, here are some "compliments" your hubby doesn't want to receive — and which ones he does!
Sure, you may have certain chores down to a science, and after a long day it might feel easier to just do them yourself — but if he wants to help, let him! After all, a study published in the found that couples that share chores have a healthier sex life.
Word to the wise: Nix "trying" from your complimentary vocabulary. Casey says he may interpret that one word as "it wasn't good enough." Plus, at the end of the day, it's okay to have different ways of doing chores.
Don't act surprised when he pulls off a project without professional help. "Telling a man you're 'shocked' by his capabilities is a huge hit to his self-esteem," says relationship expert Whitney Casey. A simple thank you is really all he wants to hear.
Not all men don't like this compliment, but some might feel overwhelmed by a statement like this. "It puts pressure on him to be the only support system," says licensed marriage and family therapist . Try telling him he's your favorite, not your only, instead.
Tell him he's thoughtful, yes. But sometimes telling him a gift isn't your taste does more harm than good. Acknowledge the generosity behind his present and before the next special occasion, point out the exact gifts you like at the store, so he'll feel prepared going into the gift-giving event.
Some men don't love being lumped into the same category as puppies and babies. Goldstein recommends using an alternative word: handsome. "People choose elementary words because they avoid deeper intimacy. Saying something underused like handsome really says, 'I love you,'" she explains.
Saying you adore him in spite of his faults by tacking on "but I love you" can come off as passive aggressive. Goldstein recommends separating these two thoughts, instead of qualifying one. Try: "I love that you're so close with the kids and make time to play with them. Sometimes, though, I really need you on my side with discipline."
It's hard not to gush too much to your friends about your man's private gesture, but he may want to keep that moment between the two of you. Check with him before you share too many intimate details about your relationship.
If you were raving about Ryan Gosling's abs yesterday, your husband will hear mixed messages. It may go a long way to tell your husband that you prefer a man who's a great partner and father than one with a six-pack if he's feeling insecure, recommends clinical psychologist .
He wants to pleasure you in bed, but he doesn't want to think about the men from your past. Instead, be specific to this sexual experience with him. "Say, 'I love how it feels when you ... '" suggests Dr. Brosh. "Keeping it personal ensures that the focus is on the partner, not on some general comparison."