When I discovered Peter's affair, we were financially stuck. Our mortgage on our home was underwater due to the market drop, and our finances were in the red due to our business failing. This was no time to have to support the cost of a divorce and two separate households. What else could we do – we stuck it out, living like zombies under the same roof. We co-existed in cool indifference for a lot of the time, punctuated by the occasional months-overdue explosion that threw us off the emotional rollercoaster all over again. It was madness. It was utterly debilitating. It was what we had to do because it just wasn't the time to move forward with a divorce.
So when is a good time? The answer to that question is probably "never", but still, there are times that can be more optimal than others. In our case, we waited until I landed a terrific new job that paid pretty well and had outstanding benefits. Since that was right before the holidays, we waited them out, and then when the winter was over, he made his move. I knew it was coming, but I expected him to move forward in his usual thorough, patient manner. He surprised me by finding a place (and funding it) behind my back, then moving out in a whirlwind rush with only two weeks notice.
I found on MSN that talks about the best and worst times to get divorced – and their financial impact. It really applied to me as 4 of the 5 points were exactly what I experienced – the shoddy real estate market, the bad economy, the lousy credit scores, kids under 18….we even dealt with point number 5 a bit since some of the money Peter used to fund his new nest came from inherited money he'd recently gotten from his father's estate. It just goes to show you that there's a lot to consider when you're ready to untie the knot, and most of it isn't good, especially in the area of finances.
Did you have to "hang on" in your marriage until it was more feasible financially to divorce? Or did you just move ahead with it regardless? If so, do you wish you had waited for a better time (if there is such a thing)?