I'm afraid I'm getting mean.
I'm afraid I'm going to get meaner.
I'm afraid I'm going to be mean once too often. I am afraid of losing love.
I am so nice to Mom, so nice. So much nicer than I've ever been to anybody. Mom's dying and our years together have made me the nicest me that could be.
The core me ain't always that nice. The core me can be guarded, staying armored, peeking out peepholes. The core me forgets to have fun.
And I'm fun! I'm really, really fun! And I have friends and family I love who love me. They are forgiving of D. Grumpy Fulford, but I don't want to push them.
I do not want to puncture my safety net with prickly porcupine quills.
I can tell you this. The best answer ever to "How are you doing?" that we discussed many blogs ago has risen in my throat again.
How are you doing with all this, D. G.?
Well, it ain't doing much for my personality, friends.
Tread softly around me. Please.
D.G. Fulford is the author of , written with her mother Phyllis Greene. She is also the co-founder of . You can find her at .
Photo credit: Marcia Smilack